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Internet Dating: Mentally Healthy or Unhealthy for those Involved
People

frankiej4189
May 06, 2009
8 votes
9 debaters
6
1


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6
Healthy


tricitymerchants11
May 07, 2009
5 convinced
Rebuttal
I've met and dated many women from the internet and that's the truth. I am not ashamed to say that.

Fact is, for a person like I am, it's very difficult to make "small talk" and to approach women "in the real world." The world is so big and so many people have different personalities than what they appear to have.

I've always found initiating a conversation and getting to know a woman better via email or chat because there are no weird silences, interruptions, undivided attentions, etc.

Then when you actually meet them in person, it's like you've known them forever and it's easy to make conversation and to build on what you already know about them.

Absolutely positively healthy.

 
unlabled00
May 06, 2009
1 convinced
Rebuttal
Some people need companionship and simply lack to tools to provide it in the real world, for whatever reasons they may be. Should they not be allowed to have meaningful relationships because of this?

 
tricitymerchants11
May 07, 2009
1 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: emericaman11412 Show

You can't believe everything you hear on the news.

It could be totally decent people like myself just using the internet as a way to meet new people, hmm..just like I do on this site.

I would have no problem meeting up for a cup of coffee with anyone on here if I were to travel to where they are at.

In fact as silly as it sounds, I think it would be awesome.

Everything in life is "trusting" people. You have to trust the doctor, the dentist, the cooks making your food at a restaurant. You have to trust everyone. Of course there are bad apples to ruin a new for the rest of people.

Your chances of being hit by a lunatic on the road are probably worse.

 
frankiej4189
May 06, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: frankiej4189 Show

Thanks, i know.

 
tricitymerchants11
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Also, maybe 10 years ago, this questions would have different answers and initial reactions. But in this day and age, it's extremely common.

 
thales
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: frankiej4189 Show

I think that it depends on what you mean by "internet dating."

I do think that it's supremely unwise to form a "relationship" entirely online and to believe that that will translate to an in-person connection. As in, "My fiance and I have been together for two years and our wedding is in June. And we'll finally meet next week!" Bad. Bad, bad, bad.

However.

I do think that online dating services have a real value in terms of the potential to screen dating partners. Particularly in a large, busy, impersonal city, being able to focus one's attention on people who are approximately what you're looking for but also actively looking themselves is extremely useful. As long as the daters meet in person as quickly as possible (like, seriously: exchange 2 emails and then set up a coffee date already), I think that it has considerably more upside than down.

 
unlabled00
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: frankiej4189 Show

Don't worry man I'm not yelling or anything :P I'm just stating it as I see it :)

 

May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: frankiej4189 Show

i didn't think anybody remembered that play/movie

 
denverdannydee
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Jesus Christ Super Star is the greatest music ever and it is the truth, say it loud, I am a happy Jesus Freak, I gave my heart to the Spirit in the Sky and I am going to see him when I die

I dated once through a free trial on that Harmony service I saw on the TV, what a waist, then I signed up to a Christian dating service on the net and I have met 2 wonderful Christian women but they had different ideas then me outsode of our faith, I hooked up with a great Christian women who shares the same ideas as me, Praise the Lord and let's see what happens, I may want to marry her in a year or 2

 
reaganmartin
Apr 11, 2011
0 convinced
Rebuttal
I believe internet dating is perfectly fine under certain circumstances. If you are a teenager, you should meet your date with a parent. But if your'e not a teen, you should meet in a public place.
It is a whole lot easier to get to know someone onlin then on person before you date them. It is actually better because then you can find out if you really like someone and then you can meet and see if she says and lives up to her beliefs and likes.
Love may begin in high school, in college, in the workplace, or even in an online chat room. Wherever it dpes happen, just always remember to stay strong to your beliefs and never change who you are to make someone like you!

 
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2
Unhealthy


frankiej4189
May 06, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Wow Frankie that's 3 great Open Debates in a row that you've started!

 
frankiej4189
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Dr. Drew has a radio show on every Monday-Thursday and last time i listened to him he was talking about this. What he said is (heavy paraphrase) that internet dating is unhealthy and is almost a pathetic attempt for two people to make a relationship. He wasn't trying to be mean or pick on people that would use the service, just making a social observation.

He went on to say that when someone is looking for their "perfect match" online, they can search for people using an in-depth personality test that automatically matches people up based on these extensive tests. Well the problem with that is the person looking for love online sees that someone matched their personality traits and they wrongfully get the impression that this person is going to be everything the test said they were going to be i.e. perfect or close to it. This automatically sets up a sandy foundation because the budding relationship starts to grow into something more serious and the two people involved have a set-in-stone idea of what their new significant other is supposed to be like and its almost never that way.

He went on to say that another major foundational flaw with online dating is that their is no real face to face communication that starts things off. Dr. Drew felt that if you want to be an active member in something as complicated and serious as a loving relationship then you NEED to be able to communicate openly, not behind the mask of the internet.

 
frankiej4189
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: unlabled00 Show

"Hey Cool it Man"-Jesus Christ Superstar

I didnt say they need to be banned, just asking if they're unhealthy or not.

 
emericaman11412
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: tricitymerchants11 Show

or it could be some murderer or rapist that just wants a piece of a!@. you can be anyone you want on the internet. and you never know who your really talking to. the websites you use may SAY that is it completely safe but htink about it. how many times have u heard on the news of online predators or such. just remember that there is always someone smarter than that website and that someone will always find a way to break the system...

 
thevenerablerob
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: tricitymerchants11 Show

I agree with emerican. It can be dangerous. For grown men it may not be quite so, but this is not only case. Moreover, people can pretend to be whoever they want to be. Personalities can change over the internet. You admitted yourself that you're more fluent over the internet than in real. This is a subtle change - people can take pains to initiate even bigger ones.

I would say that the biggest mental devastation would be when you finally meet you online date and find out s/he is not what you thought of him/her. Your online love isn't the same as in real - what was the point of all your Emailing and love sending? I've seen (as a concerned observer) that, for a female, this type of thing can break her heart. Guys bounce back pretty easily, but this may not be so for the girl.

It seems a whole lot easier to date/court a real girl/guy. You know that person and experience him/her life as s/he really is.

 
frankiej4189
May 07, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: Show

Every Lenten Season it blasts through my house windows on a near daily basis. My mom hasn't been to church in 3 years but she loves the CD

 


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