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Should people be able to decide not to let their child be adopted by Gay Parents?
Society

lithium
Nov 13, 2008
17 votes
14 debaters
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+ Add Argument

9
Yeah It's their choice


souwant2bcliche
Nov 14, 2008
2 convinced
Rebuttal
I'm all for gay rights, don't get me wrong. One of my closest friends is gay and in a committed and happy relationship. I'm also 100% for allowing gays to adopt children. However, I also believe it is the birth parent[s]' right to choose, or at least, have a say in sending their child to where they see fit.

Yes, it's true that the parents ARE terminating their rights to the child, but that does not mean they cannot have any type of say. A perent usually gives up a child because he/she thinks the child will have a better life somewhere else or he/she cannot provide for the child. That doesn't mean the parent doesn't have any personal moral beliefs. A parent has every right to request his/her child be placed in a straight family or have no preference. The same goes for religious values. A parent has every right to request his or her child be placed in a Muslim home instead of a Christian home, for example.

Granted, I don't believe the birth parents of the child should have complete reign over what type of environment the child gets placed into, however i do believe that the parent(s) should have the right to suggest where their child gets placed.

 
teachme
Nov 13, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
I say yes, only because I believe the ideal adoption to include the biological parent (or parents) in the decision making process.

 
asimpleman
Nov 13, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: yourfavoriteasian Show

Since bio parent is the parent of the child, she/he has the rights inherent to parents (since the child is still hers/his). So it only makes sense that such a parent could put such provisions in for the adoption of their child. They are still making parenting decisions about what they deem best for their child.

Incidentally, parenting IS restricted by sexual orientation (biologically speaking).

 
swtlilsoni
Nov 14, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
parents do NOT give up the right to make decisions about their children when giving a child to an adoption agency. If that were the case, the adoption agency could do whatever they damn well please with the child. The parents give the child to an adoption agency with an agreement that the agency will fulfill the wishes of the parent and child to find a proper home for the child. If there are any specifications of the home, the parents have the right to declare them BEFORE giving the child up. BEFORE they 'lose their right over the child'. once the agency agrees, the parents give the child to the agency with the understanding that the wishes will be fulfilled.

It is not discrimination to select what type of life your child will be having. obviously if the parents aren't well off enough to support the child, they would want to give the child to someone that can. is that wealth discrimination? No.

frankly, the type of life the child will have with gay/non gay parents greatly differs. Therefore it is not just on the basis of the parents sexual orientation that this decision is being made, it is being made based on two different lives the child could have. if the lives were the same and its just a matter of the parents sexual orientation, there COULD be an argument for discrimination. however in this case, it is not JUST because the parents are gay, there are many other factors that come into this decision.

 
crazyguy510
Nov 14, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
God forbid that I would ever put my child up for adoption. I would say no they do not have a choice but a gay/lesbian enviornment is never the best envirnment for a child.

 
sinrainer
Nov 14, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
Raising your child how you want them to isnt discrimition, and so this isnt either. Gay is a way how ppl act, like i wouldnt send a kid to a harsh acting person. Its who they are, so screw the other side i think. I dont mind gays, but think we should still have choice.

Is it discrimition when somebody wants child of their own race? or another race? Yeah it is, i think discrimition is okay personally, and some safe extent, im no nazi lol

 
teachme
Nov 14, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: yourfavoriteasian Show

The birth parent(s) may be giving up their parental rights, but I can tell you that I have a friend who gave her daughter up for adoption, and she chose the parents.

Part of the agreement was that they had to be willing to allow letter writing, exchanges of gifts, and occasional visitations between her (the biological mother) and her (biological) daughter. They willingly agreed, knowing that the connection between them could only benefit the child.

Through the years, the daughter has been able to correspond when she feels the need, and many questions about the reasons for her adoption, etc, have been answered and dealt with.

My friend's relationship with her daughter's parents is strong and supportive. She has not visited often, but was there for her high school graduation, and was able to take her daughter on a trip to Ireland, as a graduation gift.

My friend and her biological daughter have a great friendship, and the way the adoption was handled has been most beneficial for all parties involved...a happy and healthy alternative.

There is no reason why the biological parent(s) should not have a legal right to be involved with the decision making during the adoption of their child. These are inherent rights, that should not be automatically surrendered, at the time of adoption. However, if they choose to abandon those rights...so be it.


 
everett
Mar 16, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: yourfavoriteasian Show

Adopted children generally suffer from rejection by
their peers and more importantly, by themselves.
Adopting parents almost always face some sort of
rejection from their adopted children. A child with two
homosexual parents would not only be unable to grow up
with their biological family, but also unable to grow
up with a traditional family structure. Obviously one
cannot dismiss the idea that nothing can prove that gay
parents would be less caring towards their adopted
children, but comes as a matter of preference. Hypothetically, if you
were a child in an orphanage and a homosexual couple
and a heterosexual couple were placed before you, who
would you choose? (assuming of course, that you are of
the necessary mental maturity level to grasp the idea
of family) Most children at the time of adoption are too young to choose a suitable family for themselves and so should be responsibly assisted either by the agency or their biological parents. Taking away a biological parent's right to be a part of the process is unfair as there are many more reasons the child may have been put up for adoption aside from plain irresponsibility.


 
+ Add Argument

8
No its discrimination


vancam
Nov 13, 2008
4 convinced
Rebuttal
If a parent(s) decides to give a child up for a adoption they are transferring their decision making rights about that childs life unto the adoption agency.

Otherwise it could get quite ridiculous... They could stipulate what part of the country the child lives in, the age of the new parents, the race of the new parents.... where do you draw the line?

 
yourfavoriteasian
Nov 13, 2008
4 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: asimpleman Show

They have decided to give up their rights as parents when they choose adoption for their child.

"Incidentally, parenting IS restricted by sexual orientation (biologically speaking)."
-I think you're referring to child birth not parenting.

 
vancam
Nov 14, 2008
3 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: souwant2bcliche Show

"I'm all for gay rights, don't get me wrong. One of my closest friends is gay"... this is how every single homophobic comment begins.

 
yourfavoriteasian
Nov 13, 2008
2 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: teachme Show

If the biological parent(s) puts their child up for adoption, I think they should lose the right to make decisions for that child. Parenting should not be restricted by sexual orientation.

 
yourfavoriteasian
Nov 14, 2008
2 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: crazyguy510 Show

please explain or give evidence because that statement, in my opinion, is totally absurd.

 
yourfavoriteasian
Nov 14, 2008
2 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: swtlilsoni Show

"When birth parents allow their children to be adopted, they are giving up their parental rights to the child. It is crucial that the parents know this fact and they should be informed of this termination of parental rights via an attorney, adoption agency or both. Giving up the right to your child is a big step and full disclosure to the birth parents regarding such termination is necessary to gain their informed consent."

http://www.mamashealth.com/adopt/birthparents.asp

 
lithium
Nov 14, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
From what I understand, adoptions are supposed to be the practice of choosing to take as one's own or make one's own by selection or assent.

Parent(s) who give their baby up for adoption do so with the knowledge that they can't give their kid the the good life they would like to give and they are forefitting their rights as parents and giving those rights to other parents.

Adoption agencies aren't back alley institutions without guidlines or precautions. Even to adopt a child from China you have to pass a maze of aptitude tests and fill out very detailed information. If a couple passes this test and are good enough in the eyes of the adoption agency, then they should be good enough to the parents who are relinquishing their rights to the child.

There isn't enough evidence to strongly suggest that a child raised in a homosexual houshold will be worse off than if they were raised in a heterosexual one so any decisions based on sexuality are at this point..purely discriminatory.

 
yourfavoriteasian
Nov 14, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: teachme Show

why did your friend give up her daughter if she still wanted to be around her? why didn't she just raise her herself?

 
xanthippa
Nov 14, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: swtlilsoni Show

You point is not correct.

The adoption agency cannot 'just do whatever they damned pleased with it'!!!

Adoption agencies are strongly regulated by governments - in the US and internationally. They are bound by numbers of laws as to the treatment of the child and the selection of suitable parents.

Once a parent 'gives up' a child - they have 'given up' their right to decisionmaking over that child. That is necessary to safeguard the well-being of the child involved: can you imagine multiple sides (birth parents, agency, new parents) with differing points of view each trying to make the decisions for said child??? That would be a nightmare!!!

Only one set of people can have guardianship over a child. And that guardianship confers decisionmaking powers.

 
xanthippa
Nov 14, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: teachme Show

Sounds to me like your friend is an extremely self-centered person.

Of course, adoptive parents will do anything to accomodate whiny, selfish birth-mothers who are not willing to look after their children but still want to reap the reward of 'being a parent'. Which they are NOT.

It is not a healthy situation for that child - simply an expression of selfishness and self-indulgence by her birth mother. Please, think about it - really think about it.

 
lithium
Nov 15, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: teachme Show

I have a hard time believing that in most cases, a situation like your friends would go from bad to worse to ugly very fast. Maybe she is one of the lucky few that had things work out nicely for her?

 
kangarooman
Nov 17, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
If someone thinks that a gay couple can't care for a baby, then don't bother putting it up for adoption. If a gay couple can't have one, then why should a straight couple be able to get one? Equal rights, for better or for worse. The person should keep the baby, if they think that gay couples are that bad at it. Prove that straight people can do it better.

 
davidsnowlu
Nov 18, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
It is discrimination- gays just shouldn't be allowed to concieve children, not rear them. There is nothing wrong with homosexual parents, just their genetic code.To let people decide is essentially the same as letting them pick between the adopting parent's ethnicities.

 
xjocax
Apr 22, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: teachme Show

I say no, because if the kid is being adopted, he should choose by himself (unless hes 8-, in that case they can take him)

 


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