Login/Sign Up




Marriage!
People

littleminx
Oct 16, 2008
3 votes
8 debaters
4
1
1


+ Add Argument

2
It's just a human construct...


littleminx
Oct 16, 2008
4 convinced
Rebuttal
When it comes to marriage I for one believe that very rarely people get married do to LOVE, because love and marriage have nothing in common (being married doesn't mean you love someone). Quite frankly I'm sad to announce that TOO many folks don't even know what real unconditional love is. In today's world everyone loves their shoes, their house, their car etc...I feel as though its a commodity to be in love with anyone or anything. Reason I think so many marriages end in divorce...

Perhaps we’re being overly ambitious when we aspire to spend the rest of our lives with someone. Love is very real, but that does not mean it panders to our every whim.

I feel that a lot of marriages are done for reasons that sometimes have nothing to do with love: to receive a citizenship, to ensure certain tax benefits, to ensure security for our kin, etc. I also know that many individuals use it as a test to assess the other partners commitment to the relationship...a sense of security if you may.

 
tggdan3
Oct 16, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
It's not natural. Very few animal species (if any) are truly monogamous. Humans aren't one of them. Humans cheat all the time.

Why make a commitment at all? And why publisize it with a marriage contract? If you won't cheat- don't. We don't need a contract. If you're going to cheat, a marriage contract won't stop you.



 
sandifromlargo
Oct 16, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Marriage is a contract, a piece of paper, a ritual of the church and the religious. It also prevents your children from being labeled bastards. Aside from that I find very little about the contract to make it impressive.


Love on the other hand is two people making a commitment to each other and striving to do their best to keep that commitment. It is a true partnership to back each other up, to support one another, to be there to comfort each other and yes to provide ourselves for an to each other physically. It goes deeper than the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, or an ache in the heart, True love can feel both good and bad, make you laugh and cry, but when push comes to shove you want to be with each other no matter what. It is learning to compromise, fight fairly, forgive and yes some things forget. I would take two people making a commitment to each other over a marriage contract any day of the week. I have been married more than one time and the divorce caused more pain, hateful words and acts than ever should be. I have also been in a commitment and between the two I highly recommend it. Marriage is NOT for everyone.

 
yoli
May 22, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: jonjax71 Show

I'm so happy that you are still madly in love with your wife.
Do you still think that is possible to make the same commitment without getting married. Or do you think that it has something to do with being united by god....... Im not a religous person but I think you know what i mean.

 
thoughtcriminal
May 23, 2009
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: jonjax71 Show

I wouldn't deny that marriage and true love can coincide, but I don't see any strong connection. People are all too often in loveless marriages, and plenty of people who are in love are not married. Some of the latter are being kept from getting married by religious bigots.

 
+ Add Argument

1
Its a sign of true, real love...


jonjax71
Oct 16, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
You can't make a blanket statement for either side of the issue. It's rarely black or white, it's mostly grey

I have been with the same partner since 1974, after 3 years of shacking up we've been married since 1977, we've had mostly peaks but a few valleys too. We were and we continue to be madly in love, the older we get the more intense it seems to become

Making a commitment and sticking to it has been to most important thing in our lives, not only for us as a team, but with everything we have ever taken on in life

 
slappy
Oct 16, 2008
1 convinced
Rebuttal
Like my favorite Hasidic Jew Reggae star, Matisyahu says, "Strip away the layers and reveal your soul Got to give yourself up and then you become whole."

E Pluribus Unum, man. Out of many; one. Marriage is more than a deep commitment, it is a step closer to god. It is a step closer to throwing off the shackles of selfishness and diving into the warm water that is life. It is sipping from the goblet full of the Elan Vital.
It is a rollercoaster ride through a grove full of the sweetest fruit known to mankind.

Marriage is great because it erodes our individualistic, closed in, chained down, unconnected, self-absorbed mindset and liberates you like a wolf free from a cage and allowed to join the pack.

Adam Smith wrote this about the division of labor: "Give me that which I want, and you shall have this which you want, is the meaning of every such offer; and it is in this manner that we obtain from one another the far greater part of those good offices which we stand in need of."

Marriage is the manifestation of this in many more ways than just economic. Sure, it makes it much easier to buy a house and share expenses like grocery bills and heating bills, but this general concept can be scaled up and out to cover every aspect of life. It gives you “far greater” strength, “far greater” perspective, “far greater” humility and a “far greater” sense of purpose. A marriage does more than just add two people together. It is not simply cumulative. It is emergent.

Love doesn't add to your life, it multiplies it.


 
xanthippa
Oct 16, 2008
0 convinced
Rebuttal
Rebuttal to: tggdan3 Show

A 'Marriage contract' is nothing to do with love - it is a legal document.

As in, should the marriage result in offspring, the marriage contract will protect them from willfull abandonment by a parent. Not perfectly, but it will - child support, property division and so on - these are all based on the marriage contract.

If one partner breaches the contract, the contract ought to ensure that the other partner is compensated and any children are (at least financially) supported. This does not hold for non-contractual relationships, which is why this legal document ought to be sought: for the protection of any children which might result from the union, as well as to make any potential marital break-up legally 'decipherable'.

 


Use these tags to find similiar debates

abortion africa Alcohol America animal animals bad Barack battle better birth born bush Canada Celebrities change charity Cheney children choice christmas Convince convinceme convinceme.net crime culture dating death Debate debator education evil facebook faceoff family fat feminism fight Frankie Fun gay Girls god good Government gun healthcare heartbreak help Hillary Homosexual homosexuality hot human humans husband intelligence internet iran iraq judge action language Law legal lies Life love man marriage media Men morality Murder Muslim Nature obama opinion parenting parents Peace people philosophy Politics porn propaganda race racism relationships religion romance sex sexuality sexy site society tech terror terrorism VanCam veto violence vote vs war Weed wife woman Women world